Learning the Guitar. I have put down my beautiful Trumpet – temporarily – for an Acoustic Guitar… I know, I know. Insanity, right?
I pride myself on fulfilling stereotypes. Ironically, of-course. Which is a type of irony in itself.
I’m a twenty something Millennial, Blonde, White and Basic. I thoroughly enjoy moaning about #FirstWorldProblems and using # where they are not necessary. All ironically, of-course. #SorryNotSorry (That one was necessary.)
My one weakness – yes only one, as I’m borderline mortal perfection, channeling Chelsea Peretti all the way – is a terrible secret. Despite my attempts to mock those around me, by doing exactly what they are doing with no outward sign that I do not love it myself, there is one hurdle I have fallen at every single year. After. Year. After. Year. After. Year.
The Pumpkin Spice Latte.
I’m not even willing to have it in a cup that I have to hold. In all fairness, I do order a Decaf Soy Latte, (with cream if I want to see the Barista do their best to bite their tongue and continue doing the work smile, despite wanting to call me a moron.)
This does rectify some of the issue: but not all.
As such I’ve decided 2018 is the year for change. The year for self-improvement. The year to become a complete person, totally responsible for my own happiness.
Obviously the way to do this is by learning Wonderwall on the Acoustic Guitar. Then I can annoy people though the mechanism of mainstream music… as well as speech, the written word and facial piercings. I really do consider myself multi-media. You have to be when you are this borderline mortal perfection.
So, without further ado…
My Issues with learning the Guitar.
- It makes my fingers hurt.
- Practice is…meh. As opposed to pushing myself to play, louder, higher and for longer – until I can feel the physical effort this takes in every part of my body – literally just my fingers hurt.
- It’s made of wood. That thing we burn to stay warm.
- No-one told me it was such a bloody quiet instrument.
- The weather makes it sad. Seriously, rain did strange things to it. Apparently, a bin-bag is not a suitable gig bag.
It’s true, the Acoustic Guitar is… pretty… delicate… soothing. The Trumpet is still better. After all, pretty, delicate things get crushed. Like a Butterfly under a boot. A boot made of Brass.
Nevertheless, I truly feel this endeavor has the potential make me far more annoying in many more circles, so I will solider on. And #win when we take our Grade 3. Yes, this is a competition. #FearMeAndMyKindling
BTW, did you know we have an offer where you can claim two free lessons? Apparently Staff can’t take advantage of this offer. Whatever. Didn’t want to any way. But you should use them. I mean, they’re free… and it’s unlikely you’re borderline mortal perfection, like myself. Just sayin’.